


Stark Family Rules

by gallantrejoinder



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drabble, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-26 22:29:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12068253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gallantrejoinder/pseuds/gallantrejoinder
Summary: There is one rule above all else in the Stark family:Absolutely NO board games.





	Stark Family Rules

There is one rule in the Stark family.

No board games.

Ever.

Family movie nights? Sure. (Ned calls veto when they can’t agree.) Family car trips? No problem (Sansa quickly got over her car sickness once she realised how unladylike it was.) Even family Sunday night roast dinners are a perfectly accepted tradition. (Theon gets an invitation, too.)

But boards games are absolutely, positively, NOT. ALLOWED. EVER. In accordance with the decree of Ned Stark, pater familias of the family.

Margaery once made the mistake of laughing at this rule – assuming it must be a strange joke at her expense, told to her in hushed tones by Sansa. Margaery’s sure they must be exaggerating, but the younger Starks only stare at her when she airs this opinion. Theon just shakes his head when she brings it up later, telling her that the Stark family rule is a mystery for the ages.

No one outside of the family is  _quite_  sure what happened. Details gleaned over the years by various extended relations and friends of the family have found only this:

  1. Sansa Stark is not to be allowed to choose Disney as a theme for anything whatsoever, especially if Arya Stark is in any way involved in the proceedings. (This detail is gleaned by Lysa over a glass of red one night with Catelyn.)
  2. Ned Stark is never, ever going to buy his children toy lightsabers ever again. (Meera Reed’s answer as to why Bran can’t come near any Star Wars merch at Comic Con.)
  3. Rickon Stark is never, ever to be allowed near a monopoly board, on account of the intentional swallowing of more than five hotels. (Rickson proudly declares this fact to his kindergarten class.)
  4. Bran Stark’s wheelchair is NOT a valid form of monopoly currency, thank you very much _Robb_. (A complaint from Arya to a blank-faced Hot Pie and eyebrow-raising Gendry.)
  5. Catelyn Tully-Stark is never, ever to be asked about the value of houses during inflation periods. (A dark look comes over Ned’s face when he speaks of it to Benjen.)
  6. Arya Stark is not allowed near her sister’s hair with A) a pair of scissors or B) any dye whatsoever, especially when Sansa is asleep, on the phone, or otherwise compromised. (Jon winces when he recalls the incident to Sam, subconsciously raising a hand to the ear that was on the receiving end of Sansa’s screech.)
  7. Jon is positively banned from using hair gel on account of the disgracefully hidden monopoly money in his hair. (Ygritte didn’t even ask, but she’s not complaining when she sees the gleeful look on Arya’s face.)
  8. Finally, Robb Stark is most certainly NOT the winner of the game, owing to the brawl between Arya, Rickon and Sansa, which was shamefully encouraged by Bran Stark in a display of wilful violence. (That fact is mere rumour, in truth. But the sullen looks on the faces of all four of the youngest Stark children says it all when they are asked.)



**Author's Note:**

> [My Tumblr.](https://gallantrejoinder.tumblr.com/)


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